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Comments

a.

Ok...the weightlifter pic is scary, but the condom in the vagina scarier. I'd be freaking out. Was there spillage in the vagina?!?! My imagination would be working overtime!

tina

I thought I was the only one this had happened to. great story!

slut machine

No spillage, but there was some brownish gook. Think end-of-period-dried-blood-light-flow. I went to the gyno to check if I had TSS, but I didn't. You must have to leave shit up your front hole for like weeks before you get sick with that.

Redstallyun

OMG! Isn't that the grossest shit ever? It's happened at least 4 times to me- I know a lotta lil dick fuckers that INSIST on wearin Magnums.

Kissdahskye

OMG...this shit happened to me just the other day. I also thought that I had broke my precious vagina.
Thought I was the only mothafucka that dealt with this type of shit.
This is a funny ass story...lol

Bubba Flea

Thank goodness for Snopes!

http://www.snopes.com/photos/prolapse.asp

Of course, the picture is not faked - it's just not a weightlifter. I shudder to say this, but it was likely self-inflicted. (Anal fisting - *shudder*)

I liked your story better anyway.

yortu

Stumbled across this online. Enjoy.

A rectovaginal fistula is a medical condition where there is a fistula or abnormal connection between the rectum and the vagina. Rectovaginal fistula may be extremely debilitating. If the opening between the rectum and vagina is wide it will allow both flatulence and feces to escape through the vagina, leading to fecal incontinence. There is an association with recurrent urinary and vaginal infections.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectovaginal_fistula

noservices

This shit is deadly funny. Great stuff.

Gillian

haha, i love that weightlifter picture, that's so fucking gross! this has happened to me a bunch of times, the first time when i was in high school and i was afraid i'd have to go to the emergency room to get it out. it's definitely an unpleasant experience. yuck.

Jaime

That story was hilarious! The pictures are fucking perfect!

citytropic

this is fuckin ghilarious, mostly because my boyfriend (and i do love him) left various condoms inside of me at the beginning of our relationship. since i've gone on birth control, it hasn't been a problem. the best part is that they were regular-sized condoms. but i'm not a size queen either, and he's great with his tongue.

megan

Holy shit that's the craziest / funniest thing I have ever read. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today!

melinda

once that happened to a girl i was in a open relationship with, when she hooked up with this guy friend in a drunken haze. a few days later, she asked me to help her out downtown just to "make sure everything inside was okay." at this point, i didn't know she'd hooked up with the dude. i agreed to help her out, and my grossest fears were confirmed. i think it's one of the best experiences i ever had in university. best ever. i resolved never to have sex with her ever again, but she was really hot and i was expecting to get some that night.

Jeff

Man, the whole time Eyore was munching that shit, another man's spunk was seeping out of spent condom!

Abby

OMG!! this happened to me. I thought I got some horrible disease from a lousy one night stand. I got a doc's appt and the day before my appt, that bitch fell out in the toilet.

Elan

Damn...this shit happened to me the other day. The smell of a 2 day old condom that has been stuck in puss is absolutely horrible

cecejrg

OMG i thought i was the only one that has happened to. It sucks and freaks you out. Once i knew it was stuck but didnt know how to take it out so i just waited it out...then i got scared of some sort of plstics disease, i am laughing out loud like a maniac when i read this im new to ur site and i LOVE IT. thanks :D

vicariolicious

something very similar happened to me with a dude who was too huge for the condoms he was using. we realized the condom was stuck up there, so i went to the bathroom and squeezed it out with my kegels... and 2 condoms came out! if the second one hadn't gotten stuck we would've never found the first one! thank god!

GGG

This happened to me too!!! We thought the condom got lost somewhere in the bed. Went to the bathroom the next day & out it came. Glad to know this has happened to others :)

Oh sh1t!

This happened to me more than once.... the last time it happened, we were both drunk and passed out. Totally forgot about it in the morning (though I SWEAR he didn't tell me he lost it - thats my story and I'm sticking to it). A week later, after sex with someone else, I'm feeling some SERIOUS pain in the side of my stomach and throwing up. I go to the emergency room, because I can't sit up, let alone stand up for long. Imagine my embarassment when the ER doctor goes in and pulls out a condom. HORRIBLE! But the painkillers? Heavenly!

Its also happened in a not as painful, but just as embarassing way. It came out after sex with someone else. He wakes me up like "look what I found!" YUCK!

ptowner

the best part of this post is that this is probably the peak of the swords' (a defunct, failed, mediocre portland band) meager fame.

susan

youll prolly never see tis comment bc this was posted so long ago, but this once happened to me with a tampon. i was fucking my bf every day for a week before i finally decided to see what the NASTY NASTY funk was down there. i stuck my finger in there, and felt something deep inside, i pulled at the "u.f.o" and out came a 1-2 week old tampon. NASTY.

l.a. lemonade

oh my god i am so glad i found this posting even though it is so old. this happenned to me just last week and like everyone else i thought i was the only person this happenned to! hazy drug-addled memories of asking him to put on a condom each time we screwed on a friday night but another vague recollection of an unsheathed penis being removed, with no thought as to the mysterious disappearing act of the condom. the worst thing about this is that i finally found the... ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT! that is FIVE FULL DAYS of a condom just hanging out and chilling in vag. i started laughing maniacally in the shower as i pulled it out, half horrified half overcome by the absurdity of the situation. and overcome with relief that i had not hooked up with this other guy i'd been talking to in the intermediary period, because finding some other dude's condom in a girl's vag has GOT to be the ultimate dealbreaker.... especialy if oral sex is involved

Encountered

I swear to god, this EXACT thing happened to me. Holy shit! I've never heard of this happening to anyone else.

Crazy.

Jason

Thats just nasty, no self respecting human could possibly enjoy living like that. condoms in ur shit and not even knowing?? if u dont see a problem there, then theres something wrong with u. no offense of course.

Gravymaster

The weightlifter thing is obviously bogus -- even though the blowout would have been traumatic, it wouldn't have ripped his spandex singlet and sprayed the 3rd spotter.

Just sayin'. Also, I think I can see a condom hanging out of his prolapse. There's the real culprit. He was actually powerlifting his boyfriend's junk.

abby

Irony much? Literally about nine minutes after reading this, I went to the bathroom and found A DEAD ANT chillin' on my lips. Yep, last night the boyfriend and I were canoodling outside, and I sort of want to kill myself now.
Can you get diseases from that?!

Kenneth Charles Barron III

omg i have no idea who you are, but you are the most hilarious person i have ever met. my myspace url is www.myspace.com/kenny3030 and i think you should friend request me because you are greatness

muffy

ahhh its happened to me before - thought I didn't have sex in the interm period until I found it. youre badass.

cheekychap

LOL! Ladies, its not that we wear too large condoms it staying inside the lady until the little man is flacid enough to slide out of the condom and leave it in there. I am not making excuses. i am just saying its manslaughter, not murder. If that makes sense.

Twinks

I've had this happen once before too-after we finished i went to pee and gave birth to a condom! I can relate how you didn't know it was there cause i didn't!

Me

I too have fished a condom out of my vagina...but had no idea for two weeks...gross and totally possible. I'm probably sterile now.

sparklytoesfairydustbutt

Once I left a tampon in and forgot about it... about a week later the smell keyed me in that I might need to investigate. Another time this happened with a condom... left it in, it stated to smell funny about a week later. This was during a time in my life when I was inibriated frequently. Once a gynocologist found some wadded up toilet paper way deep inside from a time when I must have been having an emergency... that had been in for at least a month!

dnm

meh. It comes with being a dirty slut.

fancy

this is some of the funniest nonfiction shit ever. and these comments?! good god! the one bitch and her 2 condoms stuck up her snatch?!?! what what??? excellent stuff. pure confection!

Ashley

That kinda happened to me too. I was doin it with my boyfriend (of 4yrs) and we never use condoms he usually just pulls out but we decided to this time and when he finished we saw that it had broke. He said tha top piece was still inside me. I didn't think so and it took me a while to find it. It was sooo weird.

Breestyle

I just found your blog and, after emailing it to all my best gal friends, have been reading non stop. When I got to the "I've fucked it inside out" bit of this post, I could not control my laughter, even though my poor roommates are sleeping--it was like trying to stifle a moan; it starts to hurt after awhile and you just have to give in to it. I love your casually-open style of writing, mixed with wit and charm. Basically, you made my long-ass day end on a really high note. Thanks, lady!

yermaam

Homeless bass players. So classy. I fucking love New York. Hope your herp stays offa me.

Maury Stottlemeyer

Happened to me an' the wife years ago. The junk stayed in for 9 mos. Our son was born with a little rubber beanie on and his little skull molded into a reservoir-tip shape....

randomvoyeur

"Our son was born with a little rubber beanie on and his little skull molded into a reservoir-tip shape...."

I think I just soiled meself

Maria

I am always quite aware of what's going on inside the vadge. Every time I wash it in the shower, I stick a finger in - no soap! - to make sure it's all fine. Sometimes there are some period-end bits and pieces and normal secretions that I would not like my boyfriend to find. Gross, you might think, but if you never look, how could you know you don't have any of that?

pilar

sadly, I have had BOTH of these things happen to me. The "weightlifting" issue as a child (and it resolved itself on it's own) and the lost condom several years ago. I survived both :)

RefusedParty

OMFG! Scrub sex is hot no matter what haters say.

lazyache

awesome story. i think something like this might have happened to me once.... but its hazy so i cant confirm.

regardless your writing is very entertaining.

thank you.

LL

Hilarious - this happened to me for the first time. When you get up and realize that the condom is MIA - that's when you know you're in for a hunt. Truly terrifying.

cinnarose

I'm glad this happened to someone else besides me. That was one horrifying, cold-water-poured-down-spine trip to the bathroom, let me tell you. Also lead to my first usage of the morning after pill. Better than pregnancy, but worse than any hangover/stomach flu I've ever had.

Pleasure Condoms

Hi!
I have many questions about condoms for women, is the same pleasure?

Drug and Alcohol Treatment

I read the post and is so interesting, I really like it.

Weight loss

Good photos and the information is very interesting!

Generic Viagra Sale

I would like to read the post,but I can't.

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