I'm Missin' Those Good Vibrations

Today is a sad day. My vibrator has died. It was my most beloved posession. Everything is different now. My eyes are wet with tears, while my panties are drier than saw dust. Suddenly playing with myself just got a lot lonelier.

After years of service giving me honorable discharge, I think I sent the damn thing to an early grave from overuse.

Of course, I have other vibes to tide me over for a bit, but they’re just crappy slim lines or bullets. I also have that horrible Rabbit with the pearls made popular by Sex and the City. But I’m not into penetration when masturbating. And then I have my Hello Kitty vibrator, but that’s really just a collector’s item, it doesn’t pack much of a punch. I could get off easier by straddling an electric pencil sharpener.

My dead vibe wasn’t intended for sexual use. I know that a lot of manufactuers say that about “massagers” but for real, this one wasn’t. My ex-boyfriend was (and still is) into weight lifting, which can make him knot up. A couple of years ago, his mom bought him the massager for Christmas to help with that. When he came home from his parents’ house, I saw the giant box poking out of his bag and immediately knew what I’d do with that thing.

When we went to bed that night I was like, “Oh, let’s use the massager on our backs.”

He laughed and said, “Yeah. I thought it was weird that my mom got this for me. It’s like a vibrator.”

“Yeah, it is,” I said, as I plugged it in and bypassed his back for my clit. It’s been mine ever since.

It really is the best vibrator I’ve ever used—and I should know. I used to test drive vibes and write reviews about them. I know a lot of girls are partial to the Hitachi Magic Wand, but I think the Dr. Scholl’s massager is way better. Not only does it give a good, chunky ride, but it’s also really practical for use when you’re fucking. You can turn it all different ways so that you can get good leverage, no matter your position. Also, there’s a heat lamp on it that emanates a red light, which makes for really sexy ambience in a dark room.

For the past week or so, I knew my vibe was on its way out, because it would stutter and I’d have to keep shifting myself so that it would stay on. Then last night, when I turned it on, sparks started flying—not in the good way, but the electrical way. I freaked out and unplugged it. I wasn’t about to take a risk and shock my monkey.

I'll miss that vibrator. It's been good to me. But vibes are a lot like Ds—once you've used them for what they're good for, you can easily pick another one up in the city.

Comments

[SpArkLe BuRnOuT]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Seriously though, you prefer the good Dr. to my boyfriend, Mr Hitachi? Personally, I'm very partial to that low frequency "Magic" rumble.

What's the speed selection like with the Scholls? How about the noise level (Mr. Hitachi IS a screamer, I'm afraid).

I must admit, that reticulated design is very intrigiung. . .

[Neocon-pincher]

"I’m not into penetration when masturbating"

HA!

I like my friend who often has a vibrator in her ass as well as her pussy when she maturbates.

Lightweight ;-)

[kissdahskye]

So sorry for the loss...love this site by the way

[michelle]

What's the link to a Dr. Scholl's? I've got a Hitachi MW too & would like to try this. Danke!

[slut machine]

It's pretty quiet, Sparkle. I mean, all vibes will have some noise factor, but this one doesn't sound like you're doing construction work.

I'm having a hard time finding the same Dr. Scholl's as I had before. I think they have this new version, but I don't trust it. It doesn't look like it spins around. And it doesn't look like it creates mood lighting either.

http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Scholls-Perfect-Thermal-Massager/dp/B000I237HS/sr=1-189/qid=1158334722/ref=sr_1_189/104-9673096-3959152?ie=UTF8&s=hpc

[AtlanticVamp]

My vibe and I would like to pay our condolences. My fiance gave me what we affectionately know as "the Carrot", because it's actually one of those novelty pens that vibrates and is useless for writing. It's called the Carrot because it has a green knob atop an orange shaft, and is tapered from the knob. It literally looks like a carrot.

But I digress. My condolences.

[Shannon]

I have 2 words for you gals out there... Mystic Jewel. Enjoy!

[erin]

Oh wow. I have that exact same bed cover. I love it so much.

[helga]

Hi my dear!!
It is very upset when your vibrator is broken. But you can buy the same vibrator at online sex shop. It is easily that traditional sex shop.
You should try.

[steve]

How sad, you really love your vibrators. But don't be sad because there are lots of good vibrators in the market right now that give total satisfaction for your sex orgy.

[Vibrator Queen]

If you're in the market for a new vibrator, I've got a HUGE selection...

http://www.sextoyfun.com