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Probability isn't a theory.
I mean I love your blog as much as the next drug fiend / sexual deviant / engineer, but there are certain things I just can't abide. One of which is such flagrant pseudo-academic language.
That said, who hasn't farted during sex? It really does seem inevitable. Few things ruin a good orgasm more effectively than accidentally letting one rip.
Posted by: The Engineer | July 01, 2007 at 09:31 AM
smart ass:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probability_theory
Posted by: slut machine | July 01, 2007 at 09:33 AM
Burned.
I would have called probability a mathematical concept... but it seems I was only thinking of probability in the narrowest sense, not the entire branch of mathematics.
It's pretty sweet getting called out when trying to be The Smart Guy. What better way to end my lurking than with public humiliation?
Posted by: The Engineer | July 01, 2007 at 09:47 AM
If that guy was grossed out by feeling it on his balls during in the middle of missionary, just imagine how he would have reacted if his face had been between your legs.
Posted by: Trashley | July 01, 2007 at 02:43 PM
It would bring new meaning to the term 'flavor saver', Trashley.
Posted by: Stick | July 01, 2007 at 04:09 PM
Farts are hilarious - as are burps, especially when you try to out do each other.
Maybe it's a good thing that I'm going to school to become an early years teacher, we share the same sense of humour.
Posted by: Abbey | July 01, 2007 at 08:18 PM
A fart on the balls is hilarious and a fart in the face is sad... but what about a little pee in the mouth. Ahhh! I was choking on this guy's dick and was coughing like a bitch when a little pee came out but he didn't stop or say anything.
Posted by: zoey | July 01, 2007 at 09:00 PM
I once farted during a foursome.
Posted by: Kitten | July 01, 2007 at 11:09 PM
If his face was between your legs it would have been a lot worse like Trashley said.
Nice 'yo mom' comeback too. Loving your blog!
Posted by: Scarlett | July 02, 2007 at 02:05 PM
my boyfriend will stop midthrust and let one rip. gross but hilarious. i've faked having to go to the bathroom to fart so the guy wouldn't hear/smell it.
Posted by: kristina | July 02, 2007 at 02:59 PM
Ah, I've faked bathroom trips for farts, too. I prefer men to think my anus doesn't exist until it's needed sexually.
Posted by: Trashley | July 02, 2007 at 04:04 PM
hilarious!
It's definitely happened to everybody, it's a question of numbers, happened to me somewhere between 10 and 20. My sitch was FAR more humiliating than yours though ;)
Posted by: Jew | July 02, 2007 at 05:13 PM
I am laughing so hard, especially since I just remembered that I was uncontrollably queefing during sex Saturday night but was too drunk to care. And I love that gawker picked this up.
Posted by: Ray | July 02, 2007 at 06:20 PM
i used to date this girl who would fart when she came. it was the weirdest thing and so damn funny.
Posted by: the cajun boy | July 02, 2007 at 09:40 PM
I farted while reading this.
Posted by: Dr. Blogstein | July 03, 2007 at 10:00 AM
"You're gross because you're so pleased with yourself."
That makes this story THAT MUCH FUNNIER LOL
Posted by: jenner | July 03, 2007 at 05:06 PM
Soooo funny. Reminds me of the time my ex was on top and accidently pee'd all over me when she had an extreme orgasm. (Yes, I am that good ;)
At the time, I was very confused. She, of course, was very embarassed. That lasted 3 seconds. Then we laughed for the next 15 minutes.
Sexiest memory I have ... us lying in her pee, naked, laughing our asses off.
Posted by: notafarter | July 05, 2007 at 01:19 AM
Slut machine, you're just the fucking bomb. The part that makes me guffaw is him saying, "I felt that on my balls!" I mean, come on. It could have been worse. He could have felt it on his chin.
Posted by: Deege | July 05, 2007 at 04:38 PM
I remember when I was dating my husband for about three months and we were laying in bed naked. I was really gassy but I kept holding it in. Anyhow I sneezed and let this ginormous fart go at the same time. I was so shocked I wanted to die. He just looks at me and casually asked if the back of my head was still there. I got the giggles and laughed for about 20 minutes. It still to this day makes me laugh when I remember it.
Posted by: Carolyn | July 05, 2007 at 07:27 PM
I love reading your posts, they are interesting and fun, dumb you rite not to let him in next time.
Posted by: Browels | July 06, 2007 at 07:19 AM
I've never farted during sex, but then I've only been sexually active since November =P
Posted by: Mortality | July 06, 2007 at 04:09 PM
on his balls!!
good one....
my boyfriends farts stink soooo bad they linger around for like 45min!!!
If he farted durring sex we would have to take a rain check for the next day!
nasty!!!
Posted by: MKF | July 06, 2007 at 05:23 PM
Notafarter;
Are you sure you're girlfriend peed? She might have just ejaculated.
Posted by: notcreativeenoughtomakeupaname | August 31, 2007 at 03:24 AM
I remember going camping with my boyfriend (i love sex in tents). We got into a once-in-a-relationship sort of position, where he was laying on my chest with his ass in my face and his head lolling between my knees. Anyone who's had their ass eaten out for any length of time knows that it can be supremely relaxing and so the inevitable happened after I'd been at work for about five minutes. He farted right in my fucking mouth. On my tongue, no less, and loudly. His entire body tensed up, head to toe, until i finally exhaled and shrieked with laughter.
Beat that.
Posted by: Reedickulous | September 07, 2007 at 07:20 PM
This story is 100 percent pure win. Thanks :)
Posted by: Kevin | January 21, 2008 at 08:08 PM
My ex-boyfriend sodomized me with a champagne bottle; it was awesome but lasted so long and was so stimulating or relaxing or something that after he pulled it out, a thick two-inch piece of poop popped out. He was shocked; I'm usually quite prissy about such things and would have been horrified, had I not felt so nasty-in-a-good-way from all the ass-fucking. I pretended to be sophisticated about anal sex and told him it was a danger of the sport, but I've no idea if it has ever happened to anyone else. This might just beat any fart stories....
Posted by: Roxanne | July 08, 2008 at 05:37 PM
I should have clarified: he sodomized me with the *neck* of the bottle. Anything more and I don't think I'd be breathing....
Posted by: Roxanne | July 08, 2008 at 05:39 PM
love the blog! one question, when would you like to fart on MY balls?
Posted by: ChanFriedman | July 18, 2008 at 09:07 PM
oh my god, i laughed so hard at your story, and all the comments, that i've been snorting and giggling in front of the tv for like ten minutes. my parents can hear me from the next room and they know i'm watching a thing on violent sex crimes and i think they are a little scared now.
Posted by: Alex | August 12, 2008 at 08:57 PM
Haaaa! Craziness. At roxanne, the turd was probably pulled forth by the suction of the bottle being withdrawn. When I was with my first lady, one of the first times we slept together we were laying there naked, both sound asleep, when I ripped such a huge fart that it woke me up and actually sort of made me jump. Then I thought, oh shit, what will she think? Fortunately, I don't think she even woke up. She certainly didn't say anything about it. hee
Posted by: Quork | August 18, 2008 at 01:44 AM