A Present from the Past

I have a vast collection of drunken photo booth strips, but the one to the left is by far the drunkest. It was taken in 2003 at Opaline. I was with Rich (obvs) and we were with a bunch of other friends from college that I don't really talk to anymore because they moved away and had babies and stuff. Back then, I was working at BUST for very (very, very, very) little money, so I was forced to economize and cut corners on things, and I would BYOB a lot. I used to buy cheap-ass Georgi vodka, fill up a water bottle, and then just buy soft drinks at bars and spike them with my vodka water.

Well, I'd been doing that all night, but at some point during the evening, there were like two hours of open bar vodka for some reason, so loving anything free, I had little restraint. I was also intermittently stepping outside to smoke weed. Before long, I was like, Anna Nicole Smith-wasted. I was partially on autopilot, with instances of awareness of myself or my surroundings being few and far between. Like in this photo. I walked into the photo booth and plopped myself down on the stool, thinking it was a stall in the ladies room.

I'm not really sure how or why Rich followed me in there. My best guess is that I told him to take a picture with me, but then scurried away and quickly forgot what the hell was going on. Anyway, I sat down in there, and evidently put some money in the machine, but I also began pissing, thinking I was sitting on a toilet. I was bent over, with my head in my lap when I heard Rich's voice. He thought I was puking and he asked me if I was OK (fig. A).

It was at that point that I checked back into the moment, and realized that I was pissing in a photo booth (with my skirt pulled up, but my tights still on, BTW) that was actually taking photos. I howled with laughter. Rich took it as a sign that I was OK, just super drunk, and he started laughing, too (fig. B).

I shot back up, thinking I could regain my composure and take some nice pictures. I was wrong (fig. C). That's just about the drunkest face I've ever made in my life. In that lost shot, I think I was still trying to look pretty. I didn't try hard enough (fig. D).

After these were taken, I went back outside to smoke some more. I was a loud mess and could barely stand up. Rich later told me that when we came back inside, the bouncer grabbed him and said, "Get a hold of her or she's out." He probably caught a whiff of me—a mixture of urine and booze—and realized that this girl had reached her limit. Rich somehow convinced me that we should leave. I went home, puked and passed out on the bathroom floor. My dog followed me in there and slept with me, both of us curled up around the bowl.

A few years later when I found this strip in a box of crap, I laughed so hard and showed it to Rich. I was like, "Remember this? When I thought the photo booth was the bathroom and I peed when we took our picture?" He laughed at first but then stopped and was like, "I remember that, but I had no idea that you peed." I'm glad that of the few memories I retained that evening, this was one of them.

Comments

[BayBB]

Rich must have been just as wasted if he didn't realize what you were doing.

Good to have you posting again SM!

[abc123]

this is a great story- i love both of your faces in picture C.

[Annie]

I, uh, did the exact same thing once.

How many more of us are there?

SUPPORT GROUP!

[alexis]

im so glad you're back! this had me laughing out loud.

[jj]

Tell me those are dreads.

[jj]

Tell me those are dreads.

[Tracer Bullet]

I once saw a guy passed out in a chair balanced on two legs, another who fell asleep on the toilet and I once turned green from drinking too much gin (an impressive feat with brown skin), but day-um. Girly, that is the drunkest I have ever seen anybody.

[Hannah]

I vote more photobooth pictures!

[Meidi]

Hahaha, this is the funniest shit I've read in months. I think you reached drunken Nirvana or something.

[Bryanna]

Amazing. simply amazing.

[Katrina Brown]

I just laughed soooo loud ... I heart you. and the perfect comedic timing of that photo booth!

[Pinky]

Fucking priceless how you silenced his laughter with the realization you pissed yourself.

10/10 Fists.

While I've not pissed in a photobooth or my tights, I HAVE stumbled out of a trendy club in West Hollywood and pissed on the velvet rope and my shoe while all the scenesters standing behind gawked in slack-jawed horror.

[Sabina]

Figure C keeps cracking me up.
Also, are you wearing the biggest hoop earrings ever?

[lurleen]

hahaha this is so funny..I can imagine happen this to me too :D

[nico]

this is the perfect story to read on a Monday. oh and I love old pics of y'all! hilarious!

[rocknrollunicorn]

Amazing story. I didn't even realize Opaline had a photo booth, but I'm kinda glad now that I did not know.

[andrea]

I love drunken photobooth pics!

or drunken pics in general.

i, however, do not look nearly as cute as you! i look scary and mean and have no control over the double chin, closed eyes
shots.

[begorrah]

Please tell us about how you and Rich met, pretty pretty please. I just know the story is awesome and smells like lip gloss, cigarettes, and funtimes.

[Elizabeth]

Please post more like this. It's so rare that something makes me laugh as hard as this blog did.

I think I peed my pants... No. That was you.

[Janine]

Holy Shit! I may have moved away and had a baby and all that shit... but that just made my day. Good to see you writing on here again.

[Janine]

Holy Shit! I may have moved away and had a baby and all that shit... but that just made my day. Good to see you writing on here again.

[srh]

how have I never even thought to go into a photo booth when drunk? Genius.

[hgielar]

AHHHHHHH A BLACK DOG SHIRT!!!!! (I'm from the spot where the infamous shirt is affiliated, and that shirt is absolutely despicable. Oh, Rich. I can't blame you. You don't know any better. You're just a big ol' tourist. But boo!)

[Tisha]

hooray!
Loves it.

[Landon]

You're hair was so long then! Looks like a cher wig.

[meg_shell]

i check myself that i'm not on a bar stool every time i go to the bathroom when i'm wasted. every time.

[JRae]

How did Rich not notice you peeing?! I guess it was just a trickle and stayed within your clothing huh... no puddles.

Awww, I hate when girls say they don't look pretty in pictures when actually they look gorgeous, because then you just make me feel like an ugly heifer. Bitch. ;P

[Abi]

"Before long, I was like, Anna Nicole Smith-wasted."
I can only aspire to become THAT wasted ever in my life.

[Kadeexterry]

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
-- H.L. Mencken

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http://xanga.com/jamellaraqj

[Eleanor's Trousers]

I cannot believe I didn't realize you had a personal blog until now. Thanks. No wI have to spend all afternoon reading it. For which I am grateful, but my employer will not be.

[raymi]

you are my new internet hero

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