The Fear of Being Alone

I think I'm so into anatomical abnormalities like conjoined twins because the nature of their physicality automatically brings up questions about subjects I'm particularly interested in like sex, honesty, bowel movements, and the meanings of privacy and loneliness. That said, I'm way into the Schappell twins (pictured above) for reasons beyond those I listed—which I'll get to in a minute—but let's just start with their country music video:

In case you're not familiar with them, the Schappell sisters are 46-year-old craniopagus conjoined twins from Reading, Pennsylvania, who are joined at the head and share 30% of their brain matter. That's Lori, above on the left. Other than having another human being attached to her face she is, by all rights, able-bodied. That's her sister George, above on the right. She has spina bifida, leaving her unable to walk. Also, she seems to not be completely developed below the waist, although that might be a result of her spina bifida. But I can't say for sure because she doesn't like to talk about it. Because of her condition, and the difference in the twins' height, George sits in a bar stool type chair that Lori pushes around.

I guess because of the severity of the Schappells' condition and how unusual it was, they were ordered, shortly after they were born, to live in an institution for people with mental disabilities until they turned 24, when an IQ test finally established that they weren't retarded. Still, being raised as mentally disabled resulted in them being…kinda retarded. Seriously though, if you only watch one YouTube clip of craniopagus conjoined twins rambling incoherent nonsense this year, this should be it:

So "George" was born "Dori" but first changed her name to "Reba" in the mid-'90s when she decided to become a country singer. She explains herself here:

She says, "It's sort of rare and that makes me a little unique." Just so you know, this is in her bedroom:

So unique!

The fact that the twins share 30% of their brain—not to mention every intimate aspect of their lives from putting on their bras to wiping their asses—seems to have had more of a residual effect on George and her quest to prove her individuality by detaching herself from the person she's permanently adhered to. Oddly, in her attempt to do that she just ended up trying to mimic someone else. To the point of delusion.

Even Lori buys into her sister being a famous country singer. When people stare at them on the street or want to take pictures, she tells them they can only do that to her sister Reba, since she's a famous entertainer:

Every time I look at them, I can't help but be my normal perverted self and wonder what the mechanics of a sexual encounter with them would entail. Especially considering it's so complicated for them just to board a boat:

The twins have spoken about their dating life. Evidently, they are not virgins.

As far as marriage goes, it's Lori's dream, but George isn't having it. She doesn't want children either, because she's focused on her career as a country music singer.

Lori isn't giving up hope though. Hey Lori, tell the men out there what you're looking for:

[All footage is from the documentary Face to Face: The Schappell Twins.]

Comments

[MalsBean]

I know she meant nothing by it but I really wanted to punch the old lady who kept giving them kisses. That maed me uncomfs!

[Joel]

you should check out a movie called Brothers of the Head. Its a fake documentary about conjoined twins who front a punk band.

[And She Was]

What, no link to where I can buy her album? Meh, I'll check out amazon.

[Hurricaitlin]

I have never reflected on why I am also obsessed with the Schappell twins, and pretty much any one else that they make a documentary about (I'm a big fan of the Duggars, for example). But now I am thinking about it, it really does bring up all these questions about identity and self, etc. My favorite part is when Reba says she would babysit Lori's kids. The definition of a babysitter is one who will be with the children when you are physically not there. Reba=least effective babysitter ever. But it just is more evidence of the delusion that they have about what they are or what their life will/will not be like. And then it makes me wonder what I am deluded about...

[Adam]

I wonder what would happen if one of them bungee jumped off a bridge.

[Mike G]

Is it wrong that this post made me extremely horny?

[BayBB]

I have questions to add to the sex and poop list. So they only have one functional eye each right? So they've probably never seen the other side of their sister's face with their own eyes. How do they sleep? Do they have a special bed? Does Lori's neck constantly sore from having to lean towards her sister.

[Lisa]

There's something very sweet about the way they care for each other and the way that their relationship is bound up in the identity that preserved them through their institutionalization. If they had lived fifty or a hundred years ago some circus promoter would have married Lori and sold these two out. I guess that could still happen, but I hope not.

[nico]

uh... enjoys movies? how do these gals watch movies? do they go to theaters? so many cranial conjoined questions

[Trish]

I've always found them really obnoxious and off-putting. I don't care that they're conjoined. They're annoying. "Reba" in particular has a personality that makes me want to grit my teeth.

[mayrina]

how come people with disabilities like this always dress so tragically? and how can reba talk shit about her sister like that?! she can tots hear.

[mayrina]

how come people with disabilities like this always dress so tragically? and how can reba talk shit about her sister like that?! she can tots hear.

[lilwolverine]

so i'd just like to say that when i see anyone conjoined or what not, my first thought is how do they have sex and go to the bathroom and such. while watching the last video i was like "what if they bungee jumped?" and then i saw that someone else wrote that too, which i found pretty entertaining. i think they need a reality check.

[Jana]

I'd say you can count this a D-Time hit; albeit it's collaborative!
So many thoughts, only one brain
though...

Lori is a chick with a Dick, that explains the sex. Of course you're "not there" when it's your "sister" fucking you.

Putting your shoes on one leg at a time? They are retarded.

When you go to a "stylist" that's still holding on to the 80's like she's going to fall of the hood of the White Snake Mobile, yet it's really her trailer, of course you're going to look and dress tragic.

These them ladiez, just re-affirm my love for Jack Kevorkianesque saints!

Thanks for the maniacal laughs.

[L]

I like how Lori skips over "have another person growing out of my skull" when putting together her personal ad.

[Polena]

Oh yeah, you should totally check out Brothers of the Head. Even though it's a fake documentary, the two identical twins playing the conjoined twins are so freaking hot, it's worth it.

[k]

I can't stop thinking about the fact that they never see the others face. It's like being best friends with the back of your head.

[nenasadije]

why did she change her name from reba? anyone??

[louise_artichoke]

They need a reality check?! To hell with the commenter to said that. Why should they dwell on their weaknesses?!

Humans have pretty amazing coping mechanisms. I, for one, am NOT surprised that they find ways to watch movies, have sex, and yes, take a shit. There's a reason why humans have taken over the earth: we easily adapt, we're creative, and we can deal with a lot of crap.

Everyone copes with something. It's just that their issue is apparent to everyone.

[jonathan]

How's this for a pleasing symmetry: you take puerile interest in deformed innocents, while we take a puerile interest in your sex life, "slutmachine".

[I'm just sayin'...]

It can't be easy to sing well when the bitch attached to your head won't calm the fuck down and be still! I'm trying to record an album here -- do you mind?!?

[Jana]

**spit** @ i'm just sayin...

[Amy]

i'm with trish. i've seen them several times and they're an icky combination of dumb and obnoxious. i guess i sort of get why people indulge "reba"'s country singer fantasies, but it's clearly gone to her head/s.

[JBrebis]

that half retarded mini me has an ego bigger then the hindenburg.

[Uncle Perv]

Why you be going' and put youtube vids that are no longer available? See how you are?

[HN1]

Please, someone introduce them to Karl Pilkington.

I don't find conjoined twins so very odd, but looking at them makes my neck hurt.

[mel]

i want to know if because they share brain matter can they have private thought or do they "hear" each others thoughts ,does this cause fights. I have a sister & if she could hear my thoughts about her sometimes we'd be fist fighting alot more often. If the they can does this make it more easy to take shit about random people, that would be great

[Sarah]

You should watch this Nip/Tuck episode that features these twins.

[Erica]

You seriously need to watch the TLC/Discovery special about the two girls who are joined at the waist -- 2 heads, 4 arms, 2 legs, and most importantly, 1 vadge.

[Jess]

Erica, are you referring to the Hensel twins? I feel icky about watching those documentaries because they're only teenagers, but they are remarkably well-adjusted.

[Jess]

Wait, sorry, must be different. The Hensel twins only have two arms.

[Chippity Chop]

I grew up in Reading and used to see Lori and Dori wandering around the mall. I'm also obsessed with abnormalities such as this.

[Chippity Chop]

i should have added this to my previous post...but...WORST DANCERS EVER....even being a conjoined twin shouldn't make you that bad of a dancer. come on.

[kmm]

What's wrong with being delusional? It's one reality vs. another.

[s0dreadful]

i love things that make me want to barf. seriously, having a singing, SWIVELING parasitic tumor where you could have had another eye?! i would have tied some floss around our shared forehead until that thing just shriveled up and fell off like a dead wart.

[Big Red Rabbit]

For those into conjoined twin sex there's a creepily graphic account in Lori Lansens' novel "The Girls."

The book is a must-read for conjoined twin fetishists. Enjoy!

[sarahkasarah]

I believe that Reba has passed away... sad.

[catch22]

i wonder if they get charged for one haircut or 2. haha.

[Shanta]

The way they shove the others head to the side when they wanna talk looks painful. Those must be some supreme neck muscles. And catch22 where did you find out Reba died? I tried to google it but no dice

[smallstatic]

Internet meme alert!

Look, conjoined Care Bears:
http://www.popserious.com/?p=971

[foreveracynic]

Reba died? Uhh...I don't know if there is any truth behind that, but from the beginning I was personally wondering what would happen if one of them were to die. Would they just cut away the unattached parts or what? Yes, I am morbid, but at least I think about something besides their bowel habits.

[foreveracynic]

Oh god...and I just read that "George" became a Mormon, while Lori is not. Which brings up another question: Would they ever let George into the temple, seeing as how she can't help but bring a non-believer in with her?

[EL BARTO]

You don't post enough. Am I late to the party, are you somewhere else now. Apologies...but I love reading yer sh1t and it's been a while.

[lena]

@foreveracynic Considering they share brain activity, I would imagine that if one of them died the other would die soon after, but I'm just guessing.

[Alexandra]

@foreveracynic Maybe they're hoping that bringing the nonbeliever into the temple will result in conversion!

[JewBoy]

Here we go again..the trite blog death spiral we see over and over and over again..blog gets popular enough to give writer more exposure outside of blog, posts become more infrequent, writer comes back with big sob story and promises to write more,has a week of new posts, stops again, rinse, repeat, until eventual internet tumbleweeddom..

[JewBoy]

Here we go again..the trite blog death spiral we see over and over and over again..blog gets popular enough to give writer more exposure outside of blog, posts become more infrequent, writer comes back with big sob story and promises to write more,has a week of new posts, stops again, rinse, repeat, until eventual internet tumbleweeddom..

[Lauren]

Hey, you should read the book 'The Girls' by Lori... something.

It's a book about conjoined twins, two girls, and there is sex in it!! Descriptive sex in it!

And it's really easy to read too.

[Julio]

What, no Schappell Show jokes yet? You people are losing your edge.

[probably going to hell]

so... how do they have sex. AWKWARD considering one is a boy. does he have to watch her do it nd vice versa? i can't imagine how much that must blow. they have courage. mad props to them for being ale to deal with this condition.